thoughts on the real housewives of orange county

1. I don't even know what to do with Meghan. She's crying, she's yelling, she's throwing around ageist digs, and she's going all in on the wonk psychic's sort of premonition that Brooks isn't battling the cancer. The other ladies write off her nonsense as being expected of someone who is thirty years old. Excuse me while I say that is total bullshit; Meghan is loving her some Bravo Z-lister status and knows the importance of having a juicy story line to stay relevant (see also: Lizzy from last season).

2. Speaking of Lizzy from last season, maybe she has got this thing figured out. She shows up for free lunches, she's invited on trips, she gets dolled up for some interviews, but then she gets to leave. She can work on her swimwear line and pageant makeup and we don't have to watch any of it! Win!

3. Vicki's hair looks great this season. Lobs for everyone!

4. Heather's house makes my heart hurt. The mere fact that she needs a room for her luggage, and a hair salon, and a $10k sink makes my head want to explode. This level of conspicuous consumption is so far beyond my realm of comprehension that it is difficult to form complete sentences explaining exactly why I think it is so gross. It just is.

5. Poor Shannon. You guys, her sitch is pretty awful. Everything about it. Methinks this season might have been a good one for her and her cartoon villain husband to stay away from the cameras. I know she said she wants to be open and honest, but perhaps their conversations would be more productive if held without an audience.

this post is the worst

Introductions are so awkward. So I'm just going to skip that step. Welcome to mommy | gilt; the place wherein I take up space on the internet to discuss the angst of being a stay at home mother who enjoys moving every two years, while raising two boys, rearranging furniture everydamnday, and having a mid {thirties} life crisis.

disclaimers:
1. I embrace hyperbolic speech with my whole heart. It is literally the best. If you don't care for it, you are literally the worst.

2. My language is salty; like my incessant hair loss and cartoon witch-like chin hair, I blame it on motherhood and aging.